Work/Life Balance is More Than Just Protecting Your Time
I've been hearing more and more people talk about work/life balance and giving tips on how to manage your time while balancing everything that your job and your life throws at you. And I think most of us have come a long way on that front - we're blocking our calendars as out of office for important personal time like appointments, family time, and hobbies; we're actually using our PTO and taking days off to unplug; we're making sure we're using no meeting days, and the list goes on.
But as we're looking at balancing our time, we're not measuring is the emotional toll and the mental burden that work takes.
Quantifying the emotional toll 🧮
As I work with clients on finding career clarity to align their values, priorities, passions and interests, one of the priorities I focus on is building a career around your life rather than the other way around
I was talking to a client recently who has worked hard to set boundaries around work. They've taken Slack and email off their phone, they're not replying to emails on their time off, they're signing out by a set time, etc. And that work is so important!
But when I asked them about how this is impacting their mental health, I found that they're using most of their therapy sessions talking about work.
So while they may have been practicing healthy boundaries around their time, work was still making a huge impact on the rest of their life.
This may already sound familiar, but if you're unsure if you're struggling with the less quantifiable side of work/life balance, ask yourself some questions:
How often do you talk about work?
How often do you think about work?
How often do you have trouble falling asleep because you're thinking about work?
Identifying behavioral red flags 🚩
Checking in with yourself and how you're feeling on a regular basis is really powerful. Learning what it feels like when you're overwhelmed or anxious is really important. Feelings are easy to dismiss though, so I've found that it's also helpful to identify some behavioral indicators.
Here are a few of mine:
Alcohol: I've found that when I'm feeling stressed and low energy from work, I turn to a glass (or 2 or 3) of wine to unwind - and I know I'm not the only one. Sometimes that seems like the only way to destress after a hard day (spolier alert: it's not). When I feel the need to drink, I pause and identify where that urge is coming from. If it's work, I know there's work to be done to limit the emotional toll.
Exercise: This is another one I hear a lot from clients. When work is feeling overwhelming, I find myself skipping walks, taking easier classes, and coming up with excuses not to move my body.
Social Time: In the past when I've been working way too much, I haven't been able to connect with my people. I just didn't have the energy to socialize. I was canceling plans or not even making them, because I just didn't know where my head would be at after a full day or week of work.
Now that I've found a career and a life that better align with who I am and what I want, I hardly drink alcohol at all anymore, I move my body regularly, I'm at the pottery studio almost daily, and I spend meaningful time with friends and loved ones.
Minimizing the mental burden
If this is hitting home, you may be thinking, "Well great, Karli. Now wtf do I do?"
The next steps will depend on a lot on your current situation - how flexible your manager is, how you're feeling about your career overall, how much agency you have over your workload.
Here are some places to start:
Go through your current list of responsibilities.
How many of these are sucking the energy out of you?
Of that list, how many of these can you take off your plate? Try talking to your team or your manager.
Are these inherit to your current role? If so, it might be time to consider a different path.
Examine your relationship with your team.
Do you agree with the way decisions are made on the leadership level?
Do you feel supported by your manager? If not, would they be open to feedback?
Can you depend on your team?
Check your interest level.
Do you feel proud when you talk about work?
How invested are you in the company goals?
Do you believe in what your team is trying to do?
This can help identify the areas that may not be serving you - is it your role, culture, or industry? 🤔
